Last night:
5:56 Arrive home. Unable to open door. Handle broken.
5:57 Go in back door. Ask kids about door (dog did it).
5:58 Find screwdriver. Take off door handle thinking something is just loose.
6:03 Inside mechanism of door handle collapses into multiple tiny parts. Say bad words.
6:05 Gather outside of door handle and go to Lowe's
6:11 Arrive at Lowe's; find door handles; find one that fits; deduce that one has to buy an entire new lock set instead of just the handle, which is not sold separately
6:22 Self check-out. Spend $107.00 for a new door lock set.
6:32 Arrive home. Tear into box
6:35 Get handle out of box and insert into door. Screw in screws.
6:40 Outside handle works; inside doesn't. Say bad words. Take off. Find missing part and insert.
6:42 Screw in again. Door fixed.
6:43 Gather junk and put away.
6:45 Wash hands. Tell kids you love them. Accept their admiration and praise.
6:50 Get in car. Drive.
6:58 Arrive at "super suppers" to meet friends and make "6 delicious take home dinners" for my family. Two minutes to spare.
I F***KING ROCK!!! Bring on that tool belt!
*since this degree of efficiency has never existed in my life I thought I better document here it for my future viewing pleasure
Addendum: As I finished typing this my youngest called from the bathroom. "I slipped and grabbed the shower thing and it broke." Sure enough, it broke.
This handy man thing is quickly ceasing to be funny.
6 comments:
It seems you have a knack for the handy-woman thing! You should be proud!
well, it made me laugh!
You are Wonder Woman! Locks and electrical switches - locks are hard to get right, and I don't know anyone who doesn't hesitate to mess with electricity.
The shower will be the third thing you've told us you've fixed, so if you believe things come in threes, you should be all set for a while.
We've been looking around a bit for a bigger house, and I shudder to think what would have to be done here to get it on the market.
Good for you.
Next you'll be tearing out the whole kitchen and remodeling it yourself.
LOL! Yes, that handyperson stuff is a lot of fun until the reality of it sets in ~ that most things fixed will break again at least twice before being permanently done. :)
Peace,
~chani
I'm totally inspired!--this weekend I'm going to dig out my tool box.
Instead of "Now playing"
We'll have to start a new one,
"Now fixing."
You leap buildings in a single bound too, don't you? Awesome!
Hey, Sober Briquette,
I need a smaller house.
Want to trade?
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