Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Wow.. I have been honored by my dear Peaches
with this cool award! I am shocked and delighted...the best part of it being the incredibly kind words she said about me in her blog. She is one of my blog heros, and a sure pick for when I have a quick second for a blog read...Thank you are a great lady. We still need to plan that get together!

I now get the honor of passing the baton to five of my most favoritest bloggers (not counting Peaches). So, here they are, in no particular order...

One of the greatest ladies in blogsville has to be Deb. Don't visit if you are intimidated by people who take life, with all its ups and downs, in stride and manage to write beautifully about their experiences. My hat is off to this superwoman. Her entry about talking with her daughter about sex is a must read for any mom of a teenage girl.

Miss Litte Pea is a funny lady, with a flair telling about her everyday adventures. She makes me laugh at myself, because I see so much of me in what she writes about.

Darling Amusing and I have a lot in common: mainly involving ex's and kids. She is a a great mom and a strong woman discovering herself and sharing the journey with us.

My daily source of wisdom and loving-kindness comes from Chani . I learn something new about the world, and myself ever time I visit her beautiful site. She is a wonderful soul, and I treasure her more every time I read her posts.

Finally, since I have been doing the "moving thing" for the past several months I have sadly neglected my hobbies--namely my knitting. My stash is all still packed, and I am too busy unpacking necessaries and dealing life to get it all out yet. So, I pop over to Chickenlips knitting. The stories are funny, the projects are believable, and its just a fun place to play while I am blogging and not knitting!

So, there they are--my rockin girl blogger friends! Some of them don't even know I exist (isn't there a blogterm for those of us who visit but are too shy to comment?) Anyway, thanks again to Peaches for the thrill of the week! And favorites, please pass it on to five of your all-time favorite rockin female bloggers!

Sunday, June 24, 2007

I know that I sound like an unsympathetic witch..but sometimes I just don't feel the angst. I mean, I am sorry--unbelievably sorry--that some husbands are total jerks who lie, cheat, and abuse their wives. What I don't exactly get is why their ex-wives are not delighted to be done with the sorry bastards.

Maybe it's because I look at it from the other side of the fence. I was the bad guy: I divorced my husband. He did not want a divorce. For years I prayed that he would find a girlfriend, or even hit me--anything obvious that would give me an "honorable out". No such luck. His sin was to be "sick"--and to use that "illness" to control every aspect of our lives. He was also a pathological liar--to the point that as he said "I can't even remember what the truth is anymore." Don't get me wrong--I loved my husband. Loved the man that he was, and the man he was capable of being. I just didn't know, and couldn't stay with the man he became. I stayed with him after his mental break for almost 8 years, hiding the true hell we lived in from everyone, including family and friends. Fortunately for me, the veneer got too thin the last 5 years or so, so my closest friends got a glimpse into my world. They were delighted for me when I finally got the courage to file for divorce. My kids were relieved as well--they were tired of the emotional abuse they took when he stopped being able to control me and turned on them instead.

To the rest of the world, however, I am a heartless bitch who divorced her poor(never mind that he makes more in disability than I make working my ass off as a physician), sick (let's not discuss how much of this is real or imagined), disabled husband in his time of need, breaking his heart and turning his children against him. Fortunately for him he "found Jesus" so he can devote hours each week with his THREE Bible study groups praying for my wayward soul, as well as that of his "sinful children". And he can continue spreading the lies about how mistreated and abused he has been.

So, to those of you who were married to lying, cheating bastards: count your blessings that they have moved on to torture someone else. To those of you living with a mentally ill spouse: I feel your pain, and I pray for you all every day. I am eternally grateful that I was able to finally break free of my guilt and leave. And everyone, please say a prayer that my ex will find a girlfriend real would sure take the heat off of me!

Saturday, June 23, 2007


My sweet youngest is home from 3 long weeks at camp. He had a blast, with some admitted homesickness, but not enough that he didn't want to go ahead and sign up for next year too. Sigh of relief. I love sending him to camp. It is exorbitantly expensive, but he gets to do cool stuff and to meet people from all over the world. This year his counsellors were from Ghana and England. He learned archery from a guy from Zimbabwe. He went camping with a guy from Trinidad. He met and loved guys from Austrailia, New Zealand, Scotland, Ireland, several different African countries...this camp has counsellors from all over the world. He does things like lacrosse, and mountain boarding, spelunking, horseback riding, whitewater rafting, tennis--he loves every minute of it. We at home missed him more than he missed us--that is for sure.

Wednesday my middle one leaves for camp--in New Zealand. Yes, 3 weeks on the other side of the world. Sponsored by the same wonderful camp, this trip is for teens. He will be with 10 other boys his same age, and 2 great counsellors from NZ. We got to meet one of them when we went to pick up the little one, and he is WONDERFUL!!! He will ski, snowboard, cave, hike, sea kayak--sounds awesome.

The thing I love about these camps is the international flair. Let's face it--growing up in small town Middle Georgia the opportunity for exposure to other cultures and people is limited. I do what I can to keep my kids grounded and appreciative of other cultures and ideas, but the opportunity to actually meet and live with diverse people is too much to pass up. I just hope I make it another 3 weeks without my 3 chickies all in the nest! Guess its good practice for the oldest leaving for college next year! Yikes!

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

this is amazing...

some days I feel like this...running from one costume to the next...
today was kind of like that:
early morning: mom
a little later: lady at tire store
a little later: teacher/doctor
a little later: mom at grocery store
a little later: friend and confidante at lunch
a little later: friend and co-worker shopping for birthday flowers
a little later: doctor
a little later: doctor/teacher
a little later: yoga instructor
a little later: mom at home
a little later: tutor
a little later: blogger
a little later: tired mom

Monday, June 18, 2007

Chani's meme

don't know if sweet Thailand Gal invented it or what, but I loved it and thought I'd play!

"Favorite Bubble Bath Book" : generally, I like a magazine. It's not as big a commitment as a book, and I may just want to look at the pictures. "MORE" is a current favorite...

"Favorite get your groove on tune" : "Just you and your hand tonight"...yes, I confess, I love my daughter's kick-ass music. This particular song has me rocking in my seat as I drive in to work every morning. God knows what the other drivers are thinking--hope they can't read lips.

"Character you always wanted to be" : never thought about it, really. I guess if I had to pick I would say Mulan.

"Best Lullaby" : "Baby mine", hands down. Isn't it from Dumbo? If so it is the only redeeming feature of that movie.

"Most indulgent thing I do" : lunch out almost every day vs. starbucks every morning. Both ridiculously extravagent and sanity saving.

"TV show you'r ashamed to admit you watch" : I seriously don't watch TV, but my son was watching Southpark while we were at the beach a couple of days ago, and it was hilarious--sick to the core, but hilarious.

"Teen celebrity crush" : OK, Donnie Osmond. But don't tell anybody.

"Piece of jewelry you always wear" : diamond necklace. It's too stunning not to wear, but I think it gets boring sometimes...until the sunlight hits it and I say "Damn, that's one incredible rock!"

"Blog or website you're ashamed to admit you visit" : "Desperately Seeking Something", the most perverse, hilarious blog ever. You have to realize that after years in the medical field, very little shocks me; there are things that crack me up, however, and the commentary on this one is priceless.

"Favorite Chick Flick" : Is Robin Hood with Kevin Costner a chick flick?

"Favorite daytime TV to watch when slugging around the house" : don't do either, sorry.

"Best song to be sad to" : "Sleep's dark and silent gate" from Jackson Browne's "The Pretender"--which is a great album to be sad to.

"Food you can never get enough of" : fresh peaches, carpaccio, lobster, strawberries

"One movie star on your LIST" : Richare Gere. What a gorgeous specimen.

"Your Theme Song" : Today? Walking on Sunshine...

OK, that's it . Hope no one is too disillusioned with me! If you haven't done this one--try it!

Tuesday, June 12, 2007


It struck me yesterday morning, on the way to work just before I got to Starbucks.

"I am happy."

The thought took me by surprise--it was such a random thing to have cross my mind, especially with all that has happened in the past couple of years.

"Happy. Happier than I have been in years."

And then I waited--for the panic. For the past 8 years or so every time I dared to be happy something "would happen". So I waited for that familiar feeling--waited for the other shoe to drop.
But, it never came. I was, quite simply, content.
Not that there were no problems to face, no bills to pay, no boxes to unpack, no unhappy friends to worry about, no stuff I can't find somewhere lurking in a box unknown. All that "daily normal routine" was still with me. But,
I was HAPPY.
It is good to feel this way. It has been a long time.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Welcome Home.....

We are here...with all of our stuff, and settling in nicely. I am amazed that from the first night, this house has felt like HOME. It is ours--no old habits or memories lurking, just memorabilia we wanted to keep, and lots of potential.
The move went without a hitch--just an enormous job that lasted 4 whole days (and we moved less than 2 miles). Getting the kitchen counter tops in made a huge difference. Life lesson # 101--never move into a house that has no countertops in the kitchen. Most of the boxes are unpacked, but not everything is in its place yet--we are taking our time and making it "right". The dogs and cats even adjusted immediately. It was amazing. Perhaps most impressive of all was that Spence slept all night in his room...he has not done that in years. He was always afraid to be sleep in his room at the old house, so slept with his brother, or with me. Clearly we are all relieved to be in our new home.

Or, almost. Spence is at camp now--he left last Saturday. Life lesson # 102: don't ever try to pack for camp while you are unpacking from moving. Just go to Walmart--that's what I finally ended up doing. He will be gone for 3 weeks--I can't believe how much I miss him! Conner's passport finally arrived so he is off to New Zealand in 3 weeks. Lots of packing to be done for that too--all winter stuff. He will be gone for 3 weeks as well.

ME is in school and working. She turned 17 today. What a wonderful milestone. I can't believe that she is 17. She got her SAT scores today, and did great. Still, she wants to take it again to "do better". I suspect this senior year will go by in a blink. I am still in denial about it.

Well, I know this has hardly been "blog worthy", but at least it lets everyone know what has been happening in my world for the past 2 weeks or so. I hope to be back to normal--or as close as I get--very very soon! I have to say thanks to my two "sisters": precious Dawn, who spent her Saturday scrubbing the bathrooms in my new home before we moved in--now that is love; and dearest Debbie, who spent her Sunday unpacking boxes and putting stuff away so I wouldn't have a total overwhelmed breakdown. I am so very blessed.