New Year, New Budget.....

Amazing how much a body can spend on insignificant stuff. Looking back at my last years bills in an effort to figure out how I go through money, I was struck at how quickly one can piddle away untold amounts of moola. A lot of it was just "post-divorce therapy": new furniture to create a new atmosphere and replace what was missing, new clothes and new shoes to create a new "me" (or at least a less dowdy "me"), entertainment and gifts for the kids (nothing makes you feel better than having great times with your kids--so, season ticket to the theatre! besides, there was no one to tell me not to buy them stuff, and I enjoy it!), meals out because I couldn't face the idea of cooking for "just us"....the list goes on and on. I could feel really guilty and irresponsible, but I think I wasted a lot more money when I was married--compensating for other things that were missing in my life. Shopping had become an "activity", not something that I did because I actually needed to buy anything. Hell, while most women went to the spa or got a manicure to rejuvenate, I went to Kroger! It didn't feel self-serving; I didn't have to justify it, and it kept me out of the house for at least a couple of hours. I was embarassed when I went in the other day and didn't recognize every cashier on duty--I'm not a regular anymore! I didn't do after-Christmas sales, New Year's sales,or "last chance end of season" sales either. I guess that now I have more important things to do--like go home and enjoy my space and my kids! And, even after the divorce purge, I still have too much stuff---I am buried in it! Excuse me, but what did I think I needed all this stuff for? I have always been a pack rat, but dear God, it is ridiculous what all I have accumulated over the years. I have already sold some stuff on ebay (hooray for capitalism!), and given a truckload to the Salvation Army, but I still have a long way to go.
There is, however, a new budget buster that has completely won me over--my daily Starbucks fix. It's not about the coffee so much as the experience. I love driving up and having a cheerful voice say "good morning--will you be having your grande, no-fat, extra-hot, no-foam latte this morning?" Or better yet, walking in and having it waiting for me before I even get to the counter to pay for it! Yes, its the ATTENTION!!! I miss being important enough to someone--anyone-- that they 1. notice my needs 2. respond to my needs 3. smile and tell me to enjoy myself. So, for now, Starbucks is definitely in the budget--its cheaper and more reliable than a boyfriend, and the Starbucks is less than a mile away! Besides, I'm worth $3.48 a day, at least to my local Starbucks!