I know that I sound like an unsympathetic witch..but sometimes I just don't feel the angst. I mean, I am sorry--unbelievably sorry--that some husbands are total jerks who lie, cheat, and abuse their wives. What I don't exactly get is why their ex-wives are not delighted to be done with the sorry bastards.

Maybe it's because I look at it from the other side of the fence. I was the bad guy: I divorced my husband. He did not want a divorce. For years I prayed that he would find a girlfriend, or even hit me--anything obvious that would give me an "honorable out". No such luck. His sin was to be "sick"--and to use that "illness" to control every aspect of our lives. He was also a pathological liar--to the point that as he said "I can't even remember what the truth is anymore." Don't get me wrong--I loved my husband. Loved the man that he was, and the man he was capable of being. I just didn't know, and couldn't stay with the man he became. I stayed with him after his mental break for almost 8 years, hiding the true hell we lived in from everyone, including family and friends. Fortunately for me, the veneer got too thin the last 5 years or so, so my closest friends got a glimpse into my world. They were delighted for me when I finally got the courage to file for divorce. My kids were relieved as well--they were tired of the emotional abuse they took when he stopped being able to control me and turned on them instead.

To the rest of the world, however, I am a heartless bitch who divorced her poor(never mind that he makes more in disability than I make working my ass off as a physician), sick (let's not discuss how much of this is real or imagined), disabled husband in his time of need, breaking his heart and turning his children against him. Fortunately for him he "found Jesus" so he can devote hours each week with his THREE Bible study groups praying for my wayward soul, as well as that of his "sinful children". And he can continue spreading the lies about how mistreated and abused he has been.

So, to those of you who were married to lying, cheating bastards: count your blessings that they have moved on to torture someone else. To those of you living with a mentally ill spouse: I feel your pain, and I pray for you all every day. I am eternally grateful that I was able to finally break free of my guilt and leave. And everyone, please say a prayer that my ex will find a girlfriend real soon...it would sure take the heat off of me!