Traditions...the good, the bad, the unusual.....


They say that one of the hard things about being divorced is the loss of, or changing of, traditions. I'd have to say that divorce certainly makes you think about things that you take for granted. The annual "putting up the tree" debaucle, for example; I thought of it as the pinnicle experience of Christmas decorating, but given the choice this year, only the youngest of my three wanted any part of it. I do realize that for the past 6 years or so it had turned into an enormous pain, but I really didn't think about the fact that our annual tree fight was "scarring my kids for life" as far as Christmas trees are concerned. So, rather than force it, this year the tree was delivered and put up by 2 of my dear angel friends (you know you are blessed when you walk in, smell Christmas, and notice a beautiful tree, in the stand, ready for you to decorate). Since the oldest two had no interest in it , it was decorated by my youngest, Memsa, and me. We had a great time--I don't think there was a single obscenity or grumpy word uttered the whole time! The tree does not have thousands of lights which take hours to put on correctly (several hundred we whipped on in no time); it may be a tad crooked if you look at it from the extreme left side of the room (gasp); and the angel on top looks a bit like she may have hit the eggnog before having a tree rammed up her skirt (can you blame her?) But, many treasured ornaments are there, and TONS of icicles (the most magical part of the experience)! All in all, it was a great success, and I am not even dreading putting it up next year (yet).

Over the years I have learned that traditions sneak up on you; in fact, you may not even realize that they are traditions until someone's feelings are hurt. For example, the first year we had our tree delivered--BIG MISTAKE. My oldest had a total cow, stomping her feet and rolling on the floor: "REAL Crimmus trees ride home on top of their famiblies cars"!!! Who'd have thunk?
Or about 5 years ago when I actually got a fresh, not frozen turkey for Thanksgiving. Same child ran into the kitchen on the night before Thanksgiving and said: "Oh NO! There's no turkey in the bathtub! What are we going to eat?" You see, I never remembered how long it takes for one of those birds to thaw, so every night before Thanksgiving the wrapped turkey was always in the tub in water thawing out. That is what she remembered about the grand meal I slaved over!

So, I guess this year will be a year making of new traditions, whether we are aware of them or not. It is my deepest hope that we will create traditions of love and gratitude, no matter what we eat, or how we decorate. Wish me luck!